A Few Gems from 2007

I took a city that was known for pornography and licked it to a large extent.
Rudy G. during his New Hampshire campaign.

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.
Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina

In Iran, we don't have homosexuals like in your country.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

He has a wide stance.
Sgt. Dave Karsnia of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport police

What do you think about that?
Sen. Larry Craig after handing his Senate business card to the police officer who arrested him for attempting to solicit sex in a Minneapolis airport men’s room

Thank you all very much for coming out today.
Sen. Larry Craig at the beginning of his remarks to reporters in which he insisted he was "not gay"

I am not gay
Sen. Larry Craig, Idaho

Cemetery could be a death trap
Headline in a British publication, the Sleaford Target

All these things give me kind of a gut feeling, not that I have a specific threat that I have in mind right now, but we are entering a period of increased vulnerability
Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff (who no doubt was crushed when nothing happened).

Like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime.
Rep Mike Pence describing his visit to a Baghdad market

It had to do with Cuba and missiles, I'm pretty sure.
White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, admitting she had never heard of the Cuban Missile Crisis

I don't recall.
Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales', who repeated the phrase 122 times in response to congressional questions about the firing of U.S. attorneys

The administration was opposed to voting on (the Iraq war resolution) in the fall of 2002 ... because we didn't think it belonged in the confines of the election. We thought it made it too political. We wanted it outside the confines of the election. It seemed it make things move too fast. There were things that needed to be done to bring along allies and potential allies abroad and yet.
Karl Rove, with a straight face

I ordered a Hummer hybrid.
Noted environmentalist Paris Hilton. Unfortunately there is no such car.

I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man.
Sen. Joe Biden describing Barack Obama.

I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history.
Former President Jimmy Carter.

The point was to inhale. That was the point.
Barack Obama, when asked if he inhaled marijuana.

Welcome to Scotland
An ad agency came up with this new slogan after 6 months and 125,000 pounds in Scottish government money.

I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship. ... There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea.'
Bill O'Reilly


And from the world of sports - always good for amusing or bizarre quotes:

It was a pretty serious situation. I pray for his buttocks and his family.
Nationals GM Jim Bowden discusses the abscess removed from the posterior of pitcher Jesus Colome.

From what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors.
New York Knick Stephon Marbury

I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know (Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher ... That's the closest thing I know to London. But he's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name.
Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder before his team played the New York Giants at Wembley Stadium shows off the American educational system at work.

Don't let nobody out of this room! … Think you can steal my shit and sell it?
OJ Simpson while trying to repossess some sports memorabilia at gunpoint.


And finally, the top quote of 2007 -

Don't tase me, bro
University of Florida student Andrew Meyer, to police officers while resisting arrest after asking too many annoying questions at a John Kerry event.

Any Wonder That's the Word He Messes Up?

And I will explain the need to reform a confirmation process that is making it more difficult to persuade decent and intelligence people to accept the call to public service.
George Bush, DC, November 15, 2007

Bush Almighty

We're going to -- we'll be sending a person on the ground there pretty soon to help implement the malaria initiative, and that initiative will mean spreading nets and insecticides throughout the country so that we can see a reduction in death of young children that -- a death that we can cure.
George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 18, 2007

Is anyone surprised that given his success over Congress and the US Constitution Bush apparently now thinks he can "cure death."

Don't Give Women Money - They Just Use it to Build Buildings!

You know, when you give a man more money in his pocket -- in this case, a woman more money in her pocket to expand a business, it -- they build new buildings. And when somebody builds a new building somebody has got to come and build the building. And when the building expanded it prevented additional opportunities for people to work.
George W. Bush, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007

Or I think that's what he was trying to say.

I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it.
George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007

He was probably stumbling over this one because he's used to Cheney being the one putting words in his mouth and Cheney was off somewhere trying to organize his war with Iran.